Which do you choose to face? --> A person that you hate or a pile of work that you hate. You hate both. In fact, I guess most of us would rather choose to deal with your work instead of deal with a person whom you hate. Why do we have such kind of reaction? Relationship problem is always the most most headache problem in our lives. Why is this so? Life is about relationship! What am I going to share with you here is about relationship- more specifically is interpersonal relationship.
How do you rate your relationship with your family, your friends, your life partner, your roommate, your enemy, coursemates, etc... ? To build up a good relationship with a person, it requires time. The more the time you spend with someone, the relationship between you and the other party will grow stronger. You may have been spending most of the day with your coursemate, yet deep in your heart, you like non of them. You may have been spending just a few minutes with your the one you love, but you hunger for more time with them. Up to this point, you may start to feel that you are wrecked in your lives. Because you are spending most of your time with someone that you actually don't like to spend time with. But due to other reason, you forget about that and you continue to be in certain group of people, or with someone whom you don't like. May be you will say that if I don't be with them, I have no one else to accompany me...
Well, as I mentioned before, life = time, if you are spending time with a person, that means you are using up a part of your life on that person. So, we can say that relationship= time. and thus, life= relationship. Don't get piss off by these equations, think about it and you will understand some truth. You may start to think that it's so unworthy that you have wasted so much of your life on someone that you don't like. You feel regret. Or may be you are still okay with this kind of situations because you are still beneficial in these kind of relationships, like you can get better recognition from the public, you can get exam tips, or you feel high- graded when you are in certain group.
Let's go back to some basic things. Relationship problems emerges due to hatred, jealousy, dissapointment, ego, unforgiveness, etc. Why do we have relationship porblem with the others? In oriental chinese philosophy, Confucius mentioned 5 relationships, the ruler and those being ruled, parents and children, couples, friends, and lastly is relationship between siblings. And in this philosophy, relationships is held by the 8 virtues emphasized by Confucius. This is right in certain stage. But it's still lack of something.
I guess everyone of you will agree that all relationships need to be held with love. The more love we give out in a relationship, that relationship means more to us. No true relationship can last without love. The relationship that last without love is a relationship of what we call "gain- and- lost" relationship. That kind of relationship will break when one party can no longer be beneficial to another party. In short, the essence of relationship is "love".
To have good relationship with others, we need to return to the source of love. That means we need to deal our relationship with the source of love first before we can deal our relationship with the others. So what's or who's the source of love and how one can have a good relationship with this source of love? I will continue to discuss this next time. To be continued...